What Sex Means to Old People: Funny Things They Say

Old folks arent always up for sex. Old women are often against it and old men are often for it. Here are some of the things they say:

Things Said by Old Women

1. Whats that you want to do, Honey? Now?

2. Right after you get back from your four-mile walk.

3. If I didnt have this horrible rash.

4. I just took my medications. Come back next week some time.

5. Youve been reading too much. I know those Mickey Spillane novels are only 10 cents at yard sales, but you are not Mike Hammer.

6. Would you take off that silly Superman cape? Hey, that was my red dress!

7. Whats that you are saying? I think my batteries are dead.

8. This damned arthritis. I hurt just everywhere.

9. I wish you would grow up. I dont like it when you stand naked at the foot of the bed like that.

10. How about a nice ice-cold glass of iced tea?

Things Said by Old Men

1. I told you I was going to take a Blue Pill and a Silver Bullet pill. Cant you remember anything for 20 minutes? What am I supposed to do now?

2. What do you say we go out to dinner and a movie? Hey, I didnt say we would have to do anything when we get back.

3. You know I cant do that anymore. Thats a physical activity.

4. No problem, Dear. I promised Miss Appleton that Id cut her lawn. Now is as good time as any to do it. What? Oh, you changed your mind.

5. Hey, Honey! Did you read this in the paper? It keeps you from getting prostate cancer. See! Its right here!

6. Honey, here is a picture of Johnny Weissmuller when he was only 21. Just won the Olympics. He made some Tarzan, didnt he? You can almost feel his muscles. Here is a pic of him with his mate. When you were a little girl Ill bet you wanted to swing with him like Maureen O'Sullivan. Pretty skimpy outfits they have on. I can blow these pics up if you want me to.

7. Ive been thinking about a cruise. Do you want to go with me or are you still too tired?

8. Heres an article I hadnt read. Did you know that you can tell how many years an old person has left by the number of times he or she make love every month?

9. Why do we always have grandkids over here day and night?

10. Not to night, Dear. Youve got a headache.

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com

Best Medicine For Heartburn
Penis Enlargejent Pill Bellingham
Isd Heartburn Medicine For Pregnant
Butt Sex Tips
Opinions On Puberty
Snore Throat Spray
Weights Penis Enlargement Jelq
Do You Snore
Is Masturbation Can Enlarge Penis Size
How To Make Penis Larger Without Pills Injection Pumps
Blogcat Homeopathic Cures For Heartburn
How To Make You Peins Bigger Naturally
Issue Acid Reflux Infants
Cfmsubfoldername Free Oral Sex Techniques
Penil Strechers
12232006 Alternative Medicine Treatments
Treatments Of Heartburn
Vibrating X Tra Penis Enhancement System
581999 Heartburn Home Cures
How To Last Longer Sex
How To Stop Someone From Snoring
Kegal Exercises
Jh Immediate Relief Of Heartburn
Home Remedy Snoring
Stop Snoring Aids